Story Break
Open Fire Cookery
I don’t know why honest, God-fearing people would want to go out to the wilderness and take perfectly good food that someone worked hard to buy for the table and burn it over a stupid fire, you could go down by the park on your day off or in the back yard and take fried chicken and potato salad like real people and enjoy yourself, but if you have to insist on not listening to me, then here’s what you do.
Make your stupid fire. Just don’t let it get loose or you’ll know what for, do you hear?
Crispy Marshmallow Skins
This first one is real simple. Buy some marshmallows. Get a pointed stick. Put the marshmallow on the stick and hold it over the fire and cook until the outside gets good and brown. It should be crispy. Eat the skin and then stick it back over the fire again and keep eating the skin until it’s all gone. Don’t eat too many or it’ll give you a stomach ache, and don’t spoil your appetite before dinner.
Brown Snakes
If you get the marshmallows worked out then try this. Make some brown snakes. That’s what we call them. Get a can of biscuits like your mother uses. She probably never made you any real biscuits and thinks that they all come in a can but they don’t. Anyway that’s no nevermind, you don’t know any better so you should like this.
Open the can and take the dough out, but be careful. It’s sticky. Wrap it around a clean stick like a snake on a pole and roast over some coals until it’s brown. That means it’s done. You should know this already. I hope you were brought up well enough to know the basics like this but you never know so I’m telling you.
Take the snake off the stick and butter it up so it’s good and runny. Butter is good for you. The more the better. Then sprinkle it with cinnamon and sugar. Don’t poke yourself with the stick.
Dogs In A Snake
Use the same biscuit dough like for the brown snakes. Stick a hot dog on a stick, and wrap the dough around that. Leave enough space so the hot dog can get cooked too. Stretch the dough out so you don’t have too much for the hot dog, but be careful so it don’t fall off. Remember wasting food is a sin. You can eat if off the stick with ketchup and mustard if you can’t help yourself, but slide it onto a plate and eat it with a knife and a fork like a human being is better. Don’t poke yourself with the stick. Remember that. I have to keep telling you.
Wash your hands first.