Story Break
Bag Cooking
Nowadays, for a woman, there’s no reason be stuck in the kitchen cooking all the meals, plus doing the laundry and wiping the kids’ noses and doing all the housework, and that’s true. Who would put up with this any more?
There are women who want to be famous and spend their whole lives being adored in front of TV cameras, and of course they expect somebody else to handle the gritty uninteresting details of their lives. Well, that’s nice, and good work if you can get it, and if you want it. But the vast majority of women still have to get their hands dirty, and most of them don’t mind, as long as it’s for the cause of home and family.
My mother insisted that the kitchen was her place and she liked it that way. She was married but wasn’t a slave, and cooked because she liked doing it. She was good at it too. The kitchen was her workshop the same way that the garage was my father’s workshop.
I think it’s up to every woman to do what’s right for herself, in the context of her own life, political correctness notwithstanding. When my mother didn’t want to cook, she had Dad take her out. End of story. I like to cook, and do most of it, but when it doesn’t work out for me, my husband takes his turn, or we go out. He listens, he shares, and he does. You can’t be married and be a slave or a master. You can be a mistress, but we won’t get into that just yet. Wait for another book some day.
In my house we cut all the work down the middle — it’s a partnership but I usually drive the kitchen. It’s just in me. Deal with it.
My husband can do the basics. He’s great with a can opener and a toaster but he’s learned through an extended training regime of trial and error not to extend himself so far that he might get hurt. His guiding principles have become speed and simplicity, and I can’t complain. He knows his limits. If supper gets done and tastes good, we don’t have anything to argue about, especially if he’s doing all the work.
Back to hiking. Sometimes I’ll go for a hike in the woods on a nice day, and cook a lunch. Not always, but occasionally. It can be nice too. Cooking can work for one slow lunch in the middle of a lazy day hike, and preparing real meals can also work day after day during a long backpacking trip. I understand why people might want to put thought and energy into cooking on the trail, and welcome to them. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s not for me.
My husband and I prefer to travel light and avoid the pain and fussle of handling fresh ingredients, and pots and pans, and hours of cooking, and washing dishes. We’d rather explore and experience the scenery and save the table tangos for our time at home. I’m not going to go out with a sack hanging on my back and get dusty and sweaty and sleep in the dirt, and then spend hours a day dicing vegetables and simmering sauces. I’m smarter than that, and I’m lazier too.
With those ideas in mind I’ll present bag cooking for the trail. If you don’t do the cooking, whoever you are, then pass these ideas along to your designated kitchen churl.
So get yourself some quart ziplock bags, the freezer kind. They’re thicker. And get the bags whose brand isn’t “X”. Brand X doesn’t hold up. X means “avoid”. When you buy a name brand you pay for a name, but a little extra quality comes along for the ride, and quality pays dividends on the trail. You don’t want a bag letting go right when supper is done and you’re lifting it out of the pot. Try experimenting at home first, where you can get your technique down. It is not hard at all, but you want to have your failures happen where you can recover, and not out in the woods.
Here’s an easy if plain recipe for one hungry hiker:
- 1 cup couscous
- 2 tablespoons butter or oil
- seasoning (garlic powder, onion powder, 3 to 4 teaspoons bouillon grains, or some Mrs. Dash seasoning mix)
- salt or 4 tablespoons Parmesan cheese
At home, combine the ingredients in a small metal bowl or a metal cup. If you use a plastic bowl the seasonings and powdery substances will pick up a static charge and float over to the outside of the bag, then cling like death. If they stay there they’ll give off unusually interesting aromas which may attract bears or other uneducated guests.
Carefully pour ingredients into the ziplock bag by cupping the bag around the mixing bowl. Using a small bowl or cup makes it easier to do this. Then seal the bag, leaving lots of air inside, but make sure that the seal is really closed — tight. Shake the bag to mix all ingredients. Finally, squeeze excess air out through one corner and reseal the bag. Your meal is now ready for packing.
To cook, first heat two cups of water to nearly the boiling point. A rolling boil will not make the water any hotter and will just waste fuel, so “to the boiling point” is perfect.
When the water is ready, use a pot gripper to pick up the pot. Hot water hurts, so be careful here. You might have gotten a pot gripper with your cook set, or bought one. It’s probably handier and a little safer than using gloves, but it’s a single-purpose item, so using gloves you are already carrying saves some weight, but of course this is your decision.
Set the bag flat on the ground or get it as stable as you can. You don’t want it to tip over, so hang onto it. Open the bag of dry food and continue to hold it open with one hand while you pour hot water into the bag, being very careful not to scald yourself. Believe me, I’ve done it, and a big blister on your thumb is a poor companion. You don’t want any injuries, especially somewhere on a trail far from medical services.
When you have finished pouring hot water into the bag, close it up while squeezing the air out of it. Make extra special sure that the closure is sealed tight, then knead the bag with your fingers to massage hot water into the food. You’ll need gloves for this step, whether or not you have a metal pot gripper.
Then set the food bag aside, covered, for five to 10 minutes. If you’re not a starving hiker this recipe will make too much to eat, but if you experimented at home first you have adjusted the recipe to your own needs.
Instead of couscous, you can also try a package of seasoned instant mashed potatoes. At home, add powdered milk for protein, and maybe some grated cheese, and leave out any extra seasonings. The preseasoned potato mixes can get by without help from extra seasonings. Butter is good though.
Another possibility is instant bean mixes, if you can find them. There are refried and black bean mixes out there, and they are good. They cook up well and are spicy. And you can blend either one with instant mashed potatoes to more closely resemble a real meal.
Also, you can freeze tofu to drive the water out, then slice it thin, dice it, and dry it in your oven at home. Don’t forget textured vegetable protein (TVP), which sort of tastes like food, or real or artificially-flavored bacon bits, nuts, and items like dried shrimp from Asian food stores.
If you’re really cheap try ramen noodles. For one hungry hiker use two packages. To reduce volume and make them easier to handle, crush the noodles inside their packages before opening at home, then put the noodles into a ziplock bag. Add only one of the packages of included seasoning, and some grated cheese, and seal it up. This is one meal that does not need much mixing, and rehydrates fast, especially with crumbled noodles.
Couscous, dried bean mixes and ramen noodles are all pre-cooked so they need only hot water. Ramen noodles have a surprisingly high fat content as they come to you (read the label!), so you don’t need extra fat. Instant mashed potatoes are the hardest to get thoroughly mixed with water but the fastest to cook. You can eat them as soon as they’re cool enough.
That’s about it. When you’re done eating you can stuff used plastic bags inside each other and seal them up, then carry out all your trash just like that, in one big odor-free lump.
Another advantage of this cooking method is that if you are the one doing the cooking, and have a fussy eater along, like a child or a boyfriend, you can hold an open bag of prepared food in one hand, put your free hand behind your loved one’s head, and just shove it in. No fuss, no coaxing needed. There is no whine bar near my kitchen.
It works.