Story Break
The Basics
Now for the fun part for once. I get to tell you how to do it right. I got lots of experience over the years. I came up on a farm. I helped raise a family and none of them died of hunger. They all ate good. I know a thing or two. Some people don’t listen no more and think they know what they’re doing but they don’t. I learned this all the hard way and I’m telling you how to have fun and eat good food out in the wilderness.
Listen now, these are my thoughts about how to do it right.
First things first, you need the right tools. A carpenter up on the roof there, he has a hammer and his nails. A plumber in the toilet, he’s got some stuff and one of them wire things that goes down in there, and a long arm to reach things out too. Well the arm comes with the plumber I guess, but he needs it or he’d have a problem, so it’s like a tool for him.
In the kitchen you need tools too. That’s where I come in. I know how to do it right. I been in the kitchen many, many years and I know how.
Here’s how I do it.
The best way to carry things is in a picnic basket, or two of them for a big group. A big sturdy one will make a table you can eat off of. Fold the handles down off the ends and put your tablecloth over it and you got a table to set your plates and cups on. It’s small but it works OK. Two baskets should be enough for four with all the pots and plates and such if you’re going to cook, and the food, you wouldn’t need two baskets if you took cooked food though.
For breakfast outdoors have something to stick with you. You can’t get no better than bacon and eggs, so that’s where to start. It’s like a foundation underneath, and holds you up, but you need some more if you’re outside and hungry so come ready for pancakes too. Save the bacon grease to fry pancakes in. For pancakes you need to take mix and powdered milk, and you got to have water handy.
That means you need a skillet too and a spatula, for the pancakes. Friends can share the chores. Take plates and a coffee pot, and utensils. Have a spoon to beat the batter with and a bowl and a spatula. Each person has a knife and a fork, solid metal ones.
Three or four is a good size group. Take a twelve inch skillet, it will still be on the small side but you can manage. The cast iron ones are the best, when it’s seasoned you don’t even wash it, just wipe it out, so that helps. Take a roll or two of paper towels. You need four plates, four cups, and so on. The enameled ones are good, they stand up, you can’t do much to hurt them.
Start with bacon, about four strips each per person, and two eggs, then make pancakes and finish up with some fresh fruit. Jam is good on pancakes or bread, either one, so take jam or honey to suit. You need salt and pepper too. Apples or bananas for the fruit, they can take it they don’t bruise so easy, or dried fruit if you have to.
Lunch. This one is easier, you don’t have to cook especially. Bread and jam. Bread and baloney with butter, some tomato and lettuce, some more fruit. You don’t need fancier than that, just fill up on it. Mustard is good on meat. Fried chicken is good too, just bring it from home for a day or two, it will keep that long. Everybody still needs a plate and a cup for lunch but you don’t need to set a place, so just one knife or two to go around is OK, and a plate each. Make some coffee and you’re as good as back home again. Have some apples for dessert.
Supper.
You already got bacon along for breakfasts, so just bring extra to add in for supper too. This will keep it simple. Put beans in a Tupperware pail with some water in the morning and soak all day. You can leave this in camp or carry it in one of the picnic baskets if you can keep it sitting up straight. You don’t want to walk too far though.
First put the beans on to boil, a three quart pot should do, then fry up some more bacon nice and crisp. When that’s done break it up and put in with the beans, and add the grease and salt. Pepper and bay leaf for seasoning, you got it made.
While the beans are starting then, peel potatoes and clean your carrots and celery and add those once the beans get soft. Don’t boil it down to mush. Beans are slow but the rest is quick. You need a plate for each one, and a bowl too, with soup spoons. Cut a slab of bread and dish out beans over the top in your bowl. A little mustard goes good with this too and a slice of cheese on top. A bowl or two of beans and bacon will hold you through to breakfast.
To cook right you need a good grill to set your pots on so take a good size iron one, good and sturdy. It will handle the outdoors and give you room to cook on. A small ax will chop as much wood as you can stand to look at. One person can carry the grill and the ax and such, one person can carry the pots and cleaning supplies, and the other two can switch off carrying the basket with the food.
Now since you’re cooking a real supper you might as well make some pie too. You only need to take a few more apples and a dutch oven.
You can get some ready made pie shells in their own pans before you go, so that’s out of the way. Cut up enough apples to fill the pie pan and mix with a half cup of sugar and a couple of tablespoons of flour, and a little cinnamon. Sprinkle some lemon juice over the top, or squeeze an orange if you brought some of those.
On top, mix a half cup of sugar and flour each, and cut in a half cup of butter, it should end up like coarse cornmeal. You can use one of the soup bowls before you eat. Sprinkle the topping over the unbaked pie now and put it all into a large paper bag like you get from the supermarket and close it up with a couple of paper clips but you can probably just fold it so you don’t have to carry paperclips to save some weight.
Put the bag and all into the dutch oven and bake it hot for an hour. Keep the bag closed up tight all the way through. Then you can have pie for dessert.
This will work fine. You will have lots of fun in the wilderness.